Give Me Your Seat, I’m 9 Months Pregant

I’ll have the baby soon and you won’t have to worry about me taking your prized real estate. You’re young, able-bodied and a master of Candy Crush.  I know you’re tired. I get it. We’re all tired. New York City is an exhausting place to live. Especially for the young - so many bars, grad programs, and gyms to participate in.

Pregnancy is irrelevant to you. It’s for either A) boring, professional couples or B) young, out-of-control types. You’re neither of those things, I know! Your star is rising! You’re so close to getting that promotion, landing your first show, signing with a manager, scoring that first commission. You can do it! I believe in you!  What a great city to be in when you’re young. So many opportunities, the food is phenomenal, the nightlife unreal, so many attractive people. Godspeed you young, hungry warrior!

 

All I ask is that you give me your seat on the subway. My blood pressure just plummeted, I’m seeing stars and breathing is difficult. Oh, and the baby could explode out of my loins at any moment. If you watch my stomach, you can actually see my ready-to-birth child pushing and pulling. It will freak you out. I no longer have a belly button and my sleep is endlessly interrupted by leg cramps and constant urination. Basically, I’m tired. Like, really tired. Not out all night drunkenly shouting out the cab window tired, more like I don’t know how much longer I can walk in this desert looking for water before I die tired.

In conclusion: You’re awesome! Now get the fuck up and let me sit down.

Talk Party Podcast - a delight to record with jwcrump and joelstraley

Paneling and performing some political profanity tonight thepit-nyc with Electoral Dysfunction. THINGS ARE HAPPENING IN THE WORLD!

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An ancient fertility tale set within a modern, manic decline into chronic illness, “God Told Me To Do This” capitalizes on one woman’s journey for the benefit of mankind. Sorta. Catapulted from therapist to acupuncturist to emergency room, Cathleen Carr must wander through the hellish gates of both eastern and western medicine before she can realize her dream of becoming a potentially morally corrupt mother.
Written and performed by Cathleen Carr, and featuring Julie Sharbutt
http://thepit-nyc.com/show/god-told-me-to-do-this/

An ancient fertility tale set within a modern, manic decline into chronic illness, “God Told Me To Do This” capitalizes on one woman’s journey for the benefit of mankind. Sorta. Catapulted from therapist to acupuncturist to emergency room, Cathleen Carr must wander through the hellish gates of both eastern and western medicine before she can realize her dream of becoming a potentially morally corrupt mother.

Written and performed by Cathleen Carr, and featuring Julie Sharbutt

http://thepit-nyc.com/show/god-told-me-to-do-this/

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Watch profdork and I deep dive into marriage hell along with joshgondelman - The Marriage Pact

Enjoy my recently diagnosed self complaining about chronic illness with the ever-enjoyable Myq Kaplan and my lovely pal, Julie Sharbutt.

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As my friend Kiley says, F*cking snakes and sticks!

As my friend Kiley says, F*cking snakes and sticks!

Addison’s Disease

I have recently been diagnosed with a disease that no one has heard of, affecting glands in our body that most people don’t know much about. It’s called Addison’s Disease and was named after Dr. Thomas Addison, a British physician working in the Dickensian slums of 1850’s London.  All of the patients he observed had tuberculous. I do not. Huzzah!

A few quick facts:

  • I need to replace the hormones that my adrenal glands would be making on their own by taking oral steroid medication.
  • I am replacing cortisol, which regulates stress and overall well-being and aldosterone, which maintains electrolyte balance and blood pressure.
  • If I don’t take my steroid replacement, I will enter into adrenal emergency.
  • Without treatment, I will die.
  • I do not plan on having Roid Rages.  I’m replacing hormones missing from my body, not adding to what’s already there.
  • I will not get better. I will get stabilized and lead a mostly normal life.
  • My energy will fluctuate.  I will learn more as I get on with it. 
  • I would like to perform and coach improv again. It is my goal to get stabilized and return to an active performing life.
  • No matter what, I will still say funny things. Always.
  • JFK had Addison’s Disease.
  • I’m not related to JFK.
  • I wish I were.
  • Or do I?

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High of 94 and dairy intolerance (by Cathleen Carr)

The last SCENE for the summer happens TONIGHT @thepit

thescenenyc:

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SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

You won’t want to miss The Scene tonight. Why? Because tonight marks our last official show until September! That’s right, The Scene is taking a hiatus for the summer. Get in the last few improvised one acts of the season!

See you tonight! Or in…

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Final #TwoGirlsForFiveBucks tonight @thepit 7PM $8

Final #TwoGirlsForFiveBucks tonight @thepit 7PM $8

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Latest project…

Latest project…

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Trish and I are about to do something either awesome or uncomfortable at Combustible Cabaret… AMC2013

Trish and I are about to do something either awesome or uncomfortable at Combustible Cabaret… AMC2013